Mother or Father? – Both!

So are you his Dad? No. I am his mom and dad.

This in itself is an achievement. To be a single parent and try and fulfill duties of both parents is not easy; and to top it all, there’s the unpleasantness one receives from the society. What for though? For solely doing what two people together sometimes find it hard to do? For shuffling between a million things alone to make sure their child smiles? Shouldn’t our society be changing towards normal existence and acceptance of single parents and their kids?

As described by a parent in the article, it’s appalling as to why essays in schools about family talk only about joint families and nuclear families; single parents are left out of the frame. Single parents and their kids can constitute happy families too. Whether it’s out of choice or not, being a single parent comes with its own set of obstacles at every phase in life – from infancy to adolescence; at home or at school. And a supportive society would only help in normalizing it for the kids as well as for outsiders.

Having said that, it’s a fact that kids adapt to circumstances quicker than adults and grow up to feel just like any other child from other families. It’s the whole taboo around single parenthood that makes the child feel “different” or less privileged. Up until then, the child sees his single parent as a parent – a mom/dad or both. When we change the term “parent” to “single parent” we are attaching a tone of negativity for the child. However hard it is for the parent, it’s important to shield the child from discrimination of any kind because of something as basic as being raised by one parent.

And I say basic, because it’s a part of life. Everyone can’t be the same; everyone’s situations can’t be the same. And a different situation doesn’t equate to a “bad” situation. However, there are struggles at every phase when one is bringing up a child alone. For some, lack of support from the family could act as a hurdle and for some, lack of financial support could cause hindrance in the upbringing; and for some, the choice between a good cop and a bad cop could be daunting. But all parents unanimously agree that the rewards come and how!

Furthermore, it’s heartwarming to see people choosing to have kids or bring up kids without mandatorily attaching marriage to it. Their priorities are bringing up their children against all odds and as a society it’s time we respect that choice and normalize it in our minds. Once that’s done, hopefully our school essays will soon include the heroes of parenthood too!

This blog is based on the article –

Deccan Herald Living page 1 – 28th August 2018 – Whole & Sole Parents – http://www.deccanheraldepaper.com.

 

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