Being single!

Single and not ready to mingle? Well, then it might be quite difficult if you are a woman over the age of 30. Our Indian society is not very friendly with “unmarried” women over that age!

 A day in the life of a 30+ Indian woman – start the day with a heavy breakfast of proposals from all over the world, a mid-morning snack of some taunts, lunch with a huge portion of doubts on sexual orientation, an evening snack of emotional blackmailing, light dinner with some labelling and perhaps a sweet dish of tears.

Raised eyebrows, side glances and hushed talk – all of which a single woman who has crossed “the marriageable age” in India is quite familiar with.

 So what is the big deal? So what if a woman isn’t married or even so, not thinking of getting married at 30? She still does have it all – a job, friends, family, perhaps even a house of her own. Is that all invalid?

 If men aren’t married at so called marriageable age, do people portray the same kind of displeasure? Or for that matter do we give a second look to a man who has ventured out to eat alone or even watch a movie alone? But somehow when a man is replaced by a woman, perceptions change. And that’s when we know that gender equality is still only a dream.

 Women who have younger siblings who are ready to get married are faced with questions like – Will you be ok? How will you get married later then? Will someone agree to get married to you? This not only puts them in a tough spot, it doesn’t let them rejoice and celebrate their own sibling’s big event!

 I wish it was as funny as it sounds, but unfortunately this is the harsh reality for women in India who are striving hard to be independent, to live life on their own terms and to make their own rules and regulations. However, the society still believes that women are born to only follow rules and not make them.

 Having said that, it’s refreshing to see women get past all of these obstacles and show the world what identity is all about. Identity is not about getting married and having kids, or about changing your name and taking another family’s name, and certainly not about giving up your dreams and ambitions for the sake of tying the knot. True identity is finding your own path for life and identifying one’s passion and pursuing the same. So, women – Claim your space! Get out there, and live life “queen” size. With a husband or without. With kids or without. With a job or without. It’s all really about you! What are you waiting for?

 This blog was based on the article:

 https://www.deccanherald.com/features/living/singled-out-being-single-665639.html

 

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Be obedient. Be good. Be nice. Be correct.

Basically be all that you are told to be. Isn’t that what most children are taught? And somewhere along the line, while being all of that, they forget to just be themselves. When these children grow up to be adults, there could sometimes be a spark that encourages them to stop being what other wants them to be, and start living life on their own terms.

They start saying “no” to unwanted things, start emphasizing on their own happiness and prioritizing their preferences over that of others. It’s a liberating feeling, no doubt; but at times this could come with unpleasant reactions from people around them. So does that mean they go back to complying? Well, no! Then it’s time to look for the golden mean.

The golden mean or golden middle way is the desirable middle between two extremes, one of excess and the other of deficiency.

So in this context, it’s finding a way to make sure your happiness is of topmost priority without really marking the beginning of a war with your loved ones.  It’s an ideal way of respecting others’ feelings and not compromising on your own needs.

The golden mean is essential only to preserve your own happiness. Without that, you are tilting either towards only pleasing others or towards the exact opposite. The golden mean in other words is a “smart” compromise.

With changing trends and beliefs, rifts are caused between generations, between partners or basically between any two people. The key to the golden mean is understanding how much one should give in (and in which relationship) and how much one should stay firm to his/her views. Life is about relationships as much as it is about your own happiness. To keep both intact, we all ought to look for our own golden mean. But once you have found it, you could see not just a silver lining, but a true gold lining to all your problems.

The golden mean challenges the belief that one should prioritize the happiness of his loved ones over that of one’s own. It encourages you to put your happiness in the first position. And at the same time, it preserves the fact that in the end, if one has to live as a part of the herd, one needs to find a way of adjustment. While it sounds idealistic and hard to achieve, the golden mean is quite simple when applied in all spheres of life. The day you have found your very own golden mean, it could mark the beginning of your golden era.

This blog is based on the following article –

https://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/O-zone/look-for-the-golden-mean/