Motherhood brings in a whole new change! It comes rushing in with bursts of joy and love! And unfortunately, in the case of 90 percent of Indian mothers, stress comes tailing behind. Stress caused by the pressure to be a perfect parent!
While the pressure to be a perfect mom is a global concept, surveys have revealed that it’s more common in India due to various factors. Motherhood sure is huge step, that kicks off with the pregnancy, distinct changes in one’s body and then comes the baby; that’s when it’s supposed to be a true celebration, but often is accompanied by a nagging pressure to be good at it.
Clinical Psychologist and Counsellor Varkha Chulani says that there is indeed nothing like a perfect mother. There are no fixed rules or norms one could follow. The pressure is felt when one believes that one must not make any mistake. Now that’s highly impossible right? Humans are prone to making mistakes, in any realm of life and fortunately, making a mistake is not the end of the world. And she adds that, the more natural and instinctive one is, one doesn’t falter much.
To add on, Dr Uday Pai, past president of Indian Academy of Pediatrics, says that in India, one of the main reasons for increased pressure is the fact that a mother is bogged down by two sets of grandparents. Contrasting suggestions from each set of grandparents increase the level of stress for a mother, especially a new mother, who is already dealing with her own issues.
Surveys brought out various fears new mothers face right from not looking good post pregnancy to not feeling confident about being a good mother; from wondering what is right for their baby to worrying about not having time for themselves.
Furthermore, with the number of articles and tips the online world has to offer, a mother is left feeling bewildered! Who can tell her what is right and what is wrong? Now, this is where psychologists believe that a mother must follow her heart, her definitive instincts and step into the world of parenting with a positive attitude.
The key to positive parenting starts with the mother feeling good and confident about herself. Bodies ought to change and will change! But with a healthy lifestyle, one can always go back to being how they were before pregnancy. Meanwhile, the focus should be on eating well and feeling good. And with respect to being perfect moms, its valid to be worried. Even Dutchess Kate Middleton had similar fears. But getting over them, and going with natural instincts is the key to being a REAL mom, which hold more value, right?
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