With suicides among teens and children at an all time high, parents are troubled with one question; why don’t kids come to us when they are upset? We could have perhaps worked on it better! Well, ideally, that’s true. If children did approach their parents in times of difficulty, appropriate guidance at the right time could ward off major damage. But despite being most familiar with parents, there must be a reason why children fail to approach them when needed. And this fortunately, is something as parents, we can definitely solve. The problem and the solution lie within us! The problem being our behaviour or reaction to past issues discussed by the child and the solution being to reverse those reactions and attempt a better one the next time.
The article lists some of the situations where the parents need to be cautious. Let’s take the example of a 12 year old coming in to share his experience of infatuation. The first impulsive reaction the mother gives is one of anger and betrayal – how could my child turn out to be like this? But the solution here is get down to reality, comprehend that it’s normal for every child to have such feelings and to acknowledge and respect them. Respect, being a key word here. The child needs to feel validated. And if his self-respect is hurt in front of his own mother, there is very little chance that he would approach her again. Similarly, feelings of shock, authority, or obsession from a parent / parents could push the child away from them.
Parenting sure is a challenging job, and there is no one book or guide that’ll give us the tips we need. However, there are people (professional counsellors) who could help parents handle such situations. It is essential that the parent is well aware of a situation and conducts himself/herself well because that is exactly how the child will react to it. Every action by the parent evokes a reaction from the children. And for children to feel secure, respected and loved, a sufficient amount of trust and faith needs to be established by the parents.
A great family is one where kids share not only their happy experiences but the unhappy and scary ones too .Being able to cry together is essential too. And it’s important for parents to provide such a platform to their children, hence ensuring that when kids really are in trouble, the people they’ll look up to first would be their very own family.
Let’s strive to make each home a happy home but also with an outlet for sadness, fear and confusion. Let’s help the world get rid of blue whales and make way for happy dolphins. And happiness sure does begin at home!
This blog is based on the article –
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