It’s one of the most common — and often heated — debates of parenthood: Should you be a working or a stay-at-home mum? This could lead to another debate of should you be guilty if you are a working mom?
Answer, like a relationship status on Facebook, is complicated.
Each set of moms have their own share of joys and woes. Nonetheless it is not uncommon to witness such discussions during family and social gatherings. We observe how subtly people supporting ‘stay-at-home-mum’ try to penetrate into convincing the people who hold up a differing viewpoint. Perhaps that’s when the ‘guilt’ creeps in.
The belief behind the guilt could be a thinking that ‘motherhood and work cannot go hand in hand’. It certainly can, provided you step back before getting sucked into guilt, reflect on the validity of guilt and be aware of your own ability.
If you could do this you could certainly maintain a balance between the two. What could also help is – to dissect the guilt. Some questions for further reflections – ‘What is the guilt about?’ ‘What do I tell myself when I am guilty’? ‘What kind of a mum would I be if I were a ‘stay-at-home-mum’? ‘What more would I have done for my child’? ‘Is guilt a familiar feeling to me’? ‘What else am I feeling while I am guilty’?
The idea is to become fully aware of yourself and your choices so you can analyze the whole scenario with objectivity rather than get influenced by outside opinions. Once this happens you will be operating from a place of empowerment rather than a place of victim-hood. Once you feel powerful you feel confident which will translate into happiness and you feel like a ‘good enough’ mum. Then the question of ‘working’ or ‘stay-at-home-home’ will no longer be the focus.
If the guilt is still lurking in you remind or if you cant find answer to some of these questions seek help with a counselor.
To know more or to talk to a counselor logon to: http://www.preranaacademy.com